mental blabber… here… and there…
RSS icon Email icon Home icon
  • Remember, I Am.

    Posted on August 23rd, 2009 Angad 2 comments

    lake yoga

    Wherever you are remember yourself; remember that you are. This consciousness – that you are – should become a continuity. Your name, your caste, your nationality are futile things, absolutely useless. Just remember that: I am. This must not be forgotten. Walking, sitting, eating, talking, remember that:I am. Never forget this.

    In the beginning you will keep forgetting; there will be only single moments when you feel illuminated, then it is lost. But don’t get miserable; even single moments are much. Go on, whenever you can remember again, again catch hold of the thread. When you forget, don’t worry – remember again, again catch gold of the thread. By and by the gaps will lessen, the intervals will start dropping; a continuity will arise.

    Whenever your consciousness becomes continuous, you need not use the mind. Then there is no planning; you act out of your consciousness, not out of your mind. Then there is no need for any apology, no need to give any explanation. Then you are whatsoever you are; there is nothing to hide.

    Whatsoever you are, you are. You cannot do anything else. You can only be in a state of continuous remembrance. Through this remembrance, this mindfulness, comes authentic religion, comes authentic morality.

    Excerpt: The Empty Boat, Osho.
    Image Credit: www.stevenaitchison.co.uk
  • Too Hot to Handle!

    Posted on August 22nd, 2009 Angad No comments


    Love! This one little word is used for a whole range of emotions,feelings and activities that are more complex than a computer manual. We say we love all that gives us a pleasant tickle, from pizza to a person that turns us on, from watching movies to baking a cake. But surely there is a difference of degree or quality of the feeling. Is love only a warm emotional attachment? Is it just a funny feeling one can’t explain?

    Love is the favorite subject for poets, painters, film makers and writers, and it is more portrayed and talked about than actually lived. A red heart pierced with an arrow is the conventional symbol to portray the romantic feelings that we may experience in the beginning – but is that all there is to love? Love energy brings light and colour to everything we do; it is a phenomenon so vast that it cannot be merely a sentimental feeling – it spans our whole lives.

    Just look at what we call love: fascination at first sight, caring for someone, dreaming about them, desiring to be with them, being jealous, believing that all these feelings will last forever. Many people are wary of love because it can bring pain and misery. But this is not the fault of love itself; it comes from the insecurity and demands that we bring to the experience we call falling in love.

    The whole game of love can be turned upside down and given a unique meaning: flying in love. This beautiful experience of rising needs to be free from any emotional entanglement with another, otherwise it cannot bring true joy. Love that presupposes the other is not real love. Love can only be fragrance of one’s own flowering, the radiance of one’s inner glow. Until this happens in any relationship – be it with people or things or experiences – love is a sinking ship.

    Real love is born out of meditation and awareness. It is the emptiness of the heart – serene, silent and utterly blissful. And this emptiness is alive; like the sky on a no-moon night, it is studded with innumerable stars. If love does not rise to these heights, for sure it becomes too hot to handle.

    Excerpt from: Osho times Feb 04
    Image credit: www.mccullagh.org
  • Getting in tune with Yourself

    Posted on August 12th, 2009 Angad 1 comment

    Whenever you feel a problem, look within your heart. If you are at ease, you are on the right path. Your heart is the criterion. If it is disturbed that means you have to the path; something has gone wrong, you have gone astray.

    The heart is your guide. When it is completely in harmony with nature, there is a beautiful dance and music in your heart. When you go away from the nature the music becomes noise; the dance becomes disturbed. These are the signs, the language of the heart, to make you aware whether you are going right or wrong.

    You don’t need any guidance from anybody. Your guide is within yourself.

    Become a good listener to the natural. All misery exists to indicate to you that somewhere you have gone wrong; you have gone off the track. Come back immediately! If you start listening to the body, listening to your nature, listening to your inner being, you will be more and more happy.

    Take a look at the contents of your mind from a distance, so that you can see, “This is anger, this is sadness, this is anguish, this is anxiety, this is worry,” and so on and so forth. Let them be there. “I am unconcerned. I am not going to do anything for or against,” and they will start disappearing.

    If you can learn a simple thing – letting these things disappear from the conscious – you will have clarity of consciousness. Your vision will be so penetrating, your insight so far-reaching that it will allow the repressed contents in the unconscious to surface. Seeing that you have learned not to repress, things start moving out. They want to go out into the world.

    Nobody wants to live in your basement, in the darkness. Seeing that you are allowing things to move out, they need not wait for the night when you are asleep; they will start coming up. You will see them coming up from the basement of your being and moving out from your consciousness. Slowly your unconscious will be empty

    Sometime, while looking in the mirror, close your eyes and then ask: if there was no mirror, how could you have known your face? If there was no mirror, there would have been no face. You do not have a face; mirrors give you faces.

    Think of a world where there are no mirrors. You are alone – no mirror at all, not even others’ eyes working as mirrors. You are alone on an island; nothing can mirror you.  Then will you have any face? Or will you have anybody? You cannot have one. We know ourselves only through others, and the others can only know the outer form. That is why we become identified with it.

    Your name is the mantra. Don’t call Ram, don’t call Allah; call your own name. Many times a day, whenever you feel sleepy, whenever you feel that the game is taking over and you are losing yourself in it, call yourself: Are you there? And answer yourself. Don’t wait for anybody’s answer; there is no one to answer you. Answer: Yes sir, I am here.

    Don’t answer just verbally; feel the answer: I am here. And be there, alert. In that alertness the mind disappears. And when there is no mind, meditation comes into being.

    Whatever you see in your dream, concentrate your attention on one object. Let’s say you see a marketplace. There are lines of shops loaded with the various articles and many people are moving about. Now focus your attention on something, perhaps on one shop.

    You will be astonished to find that as soon as you fix your attention on this one shop, the shop disappears – because it was never there. Then fix your gaze on other things one by one and you will find them all disappearing in the same manner. If you become adept at watching dreams, dreams will be lost. As soon as dreams are lost, you go into meditation even in sleep.

    Excerpt from: Osho Books. Taken from: Osho Times Feb 04
  • Control Freaks… All of us?

    Posted on June 30th, 2009 Angad 1 comment


    Its such a resonating word. Resonates with every person. All crave for control. Every one has their own way of achieving that position of control.

    Some use love, some sex, some care, and some plain old brute strength.

    Isn’t it amazing there can be so many ways, completely different from each other to achieve the same objective? Control.

    A parent punishes his or her child to show that the child’s life is in their control, a child goes ahead and falls sick or gets a injury to show(read rebel) to their parents, NO You cant control me, Now start taking care of me, I am in control. and that’s what it gets.

    The fight for control, leads to drained people, drained of their energy, their zest of life consumed with achieving control on their as well as the surrounding people’s life. Its the latter one that really screws up everything.

    Trying to achieve control over one’s own life is a good thing in my opinion, trying to do the same with other people’s lives, is not so good. People form rules, regulations, limitations which if are broken by the person they want control on, he/she should be punished. The ways of punishment can be very diverse, the way a parent punishes his/her child, the way a lover punished his/her lover, the way a teacher punishes his/her student, or the way a friend punishes his/her friend.

    Not talking, not giving, no sex, no interaction, no helping hand, these are just a few examples of punishment as well as control methods.

    And the irony of this whole control issue is that, 95% of the times, we do it so naturally, we dont even have to formulate any strategies, it’s so sick that it’s so normal to us to try and control other people. but in this sickness, lies the cure as well.

    Name the control drama when you feel some one is trying to control you. It would work efficiently most of the times, because it makes the person conscious of what he/she i doing. If some one is intimidating you, its probably, he/she just wants you to behave in a certain manner failing which you get out of their control, so naming the control drama, as in asking it simply, “Why are you so angry?” works in a way that their conscious brain looks at itself, it sees what its doing unconsciously. and they hold themselves. coming back to a more sane way of conversation.

    If some one is being overly interrogative, just ask them, why are you so interested? believe me, it will make them think the same question and then in the next sentence they speak they will come from a calmer place.

    Till I need to blabber again.

    ciao 🙂

  • My thoughts about God / The Source / Whatchamacallit – Part 3

    Posted on June 24th, 2009 Angad No comments

    Continued from: My thoughts about God / The Source / Whatchamacallit – Part 1 & My thoughts about God / The Source / Whatchamacallit – Part 2

    Day before yesterday, I was discussing this whole topic with my partner which i discussed in my earlier posts, while that brain storming, and getting disappointing conclusions, one thing hit me, some times, the most obvious conclusion, is the right one.

    What I mean is, in this whole mumbo jumbo of a question filled life, what’s the most obvious answer to what’s the meaning of life? Well to me is, to live it fully and completely I guess.

    Lets see it from how I reached here. What’s a human being most afraid of? Death, I believe. Shit scared to think all the accomplishments, all the memories, all the people he loved, all the things he owned are gonna be gone, poof… as soon as he dies? Scary isn’t it? Humans as a race are a very hopeful one. So they decided, death cant be it… right? there’s gotta be a way to go on after that. Ahh… after life, reincarnation… brilliant. Hmmm… So if we need to put some power into this idea, okay lets put all the power into some thing like a super being. which no one can see, which no one can hear, which you can only meet with once you dearly depart from this world! Convenient isn’t it?

    Its a self uplifting theory of man to keep himself from going insane because of the fear of Death!

    So if this is not it then what is it?

    I’ve come to a realization of a person who believes in Science. Organisms, constantly evolving. From single celled organisms, to organisms which live in water, to amphibians, to reptiles, to primates, to human. The evolution of Man as taught in every school. Why not actually see some truth in it? Okay so I asked her, now try to disprove this theory, just running an idea by you, the immediate answer from her was then tell me how some people are psychics? Clairvoyants? She said, your theory of us being organisms of science, that there’s no God, and no external life force goes down the drain very easily. I thought, well what if clairvoyants have just evolved. Like say, some people develop their bodies, some their minds, some develop logic, while some develop creativity, some are good in calculations, and some develop language skills. Clairvoyant people have just developed that part of their mind which deals with clairvoyance. So, what this point means is that, every one of us has the ability for clairvoyance in us, its just that we don’t develop it. Its like every body having a high tech cell phone, but one person using only some basic features, some more advanced features, and some using it extremely to the limit. I am not saying a clairvoyant person is using their mind to the max, its just that part they are using, I am sure a clairvoyant might not know what an engineer knows, they’ve just developed different parts of their mind.

    In the end. My personal conclusion about this whole GOD issue is that the whole system is a system of control. When you die, you die, so live your life, LIVE it. Nice and good. 🙂

  • Cuteness personified! Kitten Mania

    Posted on June 17th, 2009 Angad No comments

    Was buying my smokes the other day, and the corner of my eye saw this.. small thing… creeping out from under the small shop… scared the hell outta me in the first instance, but then what I saw was like so damn cute!! Small kitten, one that could easily fit in the palm of my hand, climbing on to my shoe. Cute isnt it?

  • Cafe mocha from Cafe Coffee Day!

    Posted on June 17th, 2009 Angad 9 comments
    A lot can happen over coffee...

    A lot can happen over coffee...

  • My thoughts about God / The Source / Whatchamacallit – Part 2

    Posted on May 25th, 2009 Angad 1 comment

    Continued from: My thoughts about God / The Source / Whatchamacallit – Part 1

    Heroes (The TV Series Season 3 Finale Narration: There are nearly 7 Billion people on this planet. Each one unique, different. What are the chances of that?  And Why? Is it simply biology, physiology that determines this diversity? A collection of thoughts, memories, experiences that carve out our own special place. Or is it something more than this? Perhaps there is a master plan that drives the randomness of creation. Something unknowable, that dwells in the soul, and presents each one of us with a unique set of challenges, that will help us discover, who we really are?

    We are all connected, joined together by an invisible thread, infinite in its potential and fragile in its design. Yet while connected we are also merely individuals, empty vessels to be filled with infinite possibilities, an assortment of thoughts, beliefs, a collection of disjointed memories and experiences.

    Can I be me without these? Can you be you?

    And if this invisible thread that holds us together was to sever, to cease, what then? What would become of billions of lone, disconnected souls? Therein lies the  great quest of our lives. To find, to connect, to hold on, for when our hearts are pure and our thoughts in line, we are all truly One, capable of repairing our fragile world and creating a universe of infinite possibilities.

    While watching this episode the first time, I completely unheard this part in which Mohinder Suresh narrates this voice over, Second time around, it got its prays heard. I heard it, listened to it, and then repeated it over and over again. I was kind of perplexed as to how the theme of the TV series matched what was going on my mind at that point of time. Well, coincidences apart, its quite a ponderable topic on which I was pondering over anyways.

    The point i could put my finger on is that the narrator aswell couldnt keep his finger on as to WHY is this actually happenning, he says perhaps there’s a masterplan. Ahh I See, I said to myself, maybe it some sort of a plan, but then again… the end thought was WHY? What is the need? Well everything being ONE, and all humans being ONE and connected does make sense to me, every one together, same, different, together again. What does happen when we die? What is happenning to us before we take birth? In both those times, swimming in the oceans of consciousness are we? Are we one with the creator at that time? one with the architect? Oh, that reminds me of The Matrix, but I dont think I wanna go into it as of now, maybe some other day, maybe some other blog post.

    Conclusion? You looking for one? Well I dont have any, as yet. But I do have an opinion, I feel, god has left the building. And some other bozo’s enjoying one of god’s worlds while he’s on vacation. Is that person the Devil? Dont ask me, form your own opinions.

    I’d like to stay with these thoughts for now, maybe some thing interesting might come outta it. 😉


  • My thoughts about God / The Source / Whatchamacallit – Part 1

    Posted on May 22nd, 2009 Angad 3 comments

    Since the beginning of time, man has been looking for meaning, and a direction, why is he where he is? And he has asked himself a million times, what am I supposed to do. With all our technological advances, have we been able to find out the basest questions that comes to a human’s mind?

    What is the meaning of life? Why are we here? What are we supposed to do?

    People joke, god is a kid with an ant farm, well, I think that might not be that far from the truth. Spiritual speakers tell us about all of us being one, part of the same energy, the same illuminating ball of light, the supreme, The Source. And that we are given our life lessons before birth and we are supposed to learn our life lessons in our life time otherwise we start this cycle of birth and death again to learn the lessons we didn’t learn in the previous. Its like homework from school, no matter how much you delay doing it, you will have to do it!

    I ask if we are the part of the all knowing source, which has given birth to all the organisms as well as the universe itself, what are we? Are all the 7 billion of us humans god’s playthings? God is the head master and we are his students? If he is really god, why doesn’t he just wave his hand and fill us with all the learning there is and be done with it. Are we his entertainment?

    Well if we think about this source explanation seriously, this I think it isn’t the only source. I know you think I’m out of my mind, but just bear with me. Let’s just see what’s happening, We humans come out of the ball of light, our source and are given specific lessons to learn, failing in this task we wont be able to go back to the source and have to take another birth to learn them. Then how I would understand this situation as would be that the source is like us, actually just like us, its needs to learn, which it is doing through us. It is NOT all knowing. It is actually exactly like us in the manner that it has also been sent out to learn lessons, which it is doing through us, it’s the way it knows how. Our source, might be actually just a pawn in this whole game of chess, a soldier in the mission to get intelligence, it might have come out of a bigger source, and that bigger source… wouldn’t it be the same like our source? Another chain, another link, another organism which needs to learn? Wont this just keep going on? Where do you think it will end? Who do you think will be the boss? Would the boss be an all knowing source? If yes, then why is he doing this? For entertainment? If not, then who made him boss in the first place?

    While you think about what I just said, think about this: Who is busting there asses actually learning the lessons? US. Who are actually the people who get it done, who try and try again to learn twisted, complicated lessons? US. Who’s making us do these hard chores? Is there a fat man with a cane who whips us as soon as we stop? Or is there a sexy lady enchanting us with her bare bottoms to the work quickly and come to her? Well no, there’s none of that. Is there? Who made us the slaves? I think the whole concept is screwed up, we aren’t the slaves, we’re the masters! We work, we work, we stop, we stop, no one’s there to tell us to work, or stop. Right? WRONG. That’s what society is for. The one that’s been folded over our eyes, what’s right, what’s wrong, things which are supposed to be this way or that way, and things that aren’t supposed to be this way and that way. These so called norms of the society we live in surround us. And what happens if we break them? We’re called the rebel, even a lunatic if you’ve broken a more prominent rule of the society.

    To be continued…

  • Vector Fun!

    Posted on May 20th, 2009 Angad No comments

    Photoshop, been using this cool piece of software since I got my first computer in 1999. Obviously, I couldn’t do shit on it. I just wanted to play games on my computer like every kid does, atleast in the beginning, once I saw these neat little bars on a mobile phone forum in a guys signature. Nokia User. I thought, wow, thats cool, and then I saw a whole lot of people just making their signatures, using those bars, I later learned those were called user bars, and a friend of mine, The Puddster, taught me how to make cool looking user bars on photoshop! Finally the day had come when I would actually use that piece of software that’s been hogging my precious hard disc space since the beginning of time, at least I was right about the software, I sure would need it someday, and that day had come….

    Anyways, yesterday, while looking for some free vectors for my blog i found a cool site which sells Vector Art Packs, but also has a huge Sample pack which is FREE!!! Well I downloaded it and just kinda browsed through it and saw what vector basics were all about. Then i added all the photoshop brushes they had provided  for the vectors in that pack and started kinda doodling with them.

    Here’s what I came up with using some of the brushes of my PS CS4 as well as some of the ones that were in the pack.

    Looks Fun... Dunnit?
    Looks Fun… Dunnit?

    Well if you want the Vector art + Photoshop Brushes Pack I used, you can get it here: http://www.stockgraphicdesigns.com